The Thoughts of the Partially-Insane #2: It's just emotion taking me over

Yeah, rrriiiiggghhht….

So my first output on (TTotPI #1) was given a good reception, even though certain familial parties have chosen to leave me to enjoy the perks of eternal suffering by myself. I feel so loved…. It’s been exam season, so I’ve had little inspiration for writing anything of sense. But I guess that’s the point. If I had any sense you wouldn’t be reading this piece. I really wasn’t sure what to write about in this edition, but then someone asked me the 64 million dollar question one day,

“Cero, what the hell goes on in your head?”

It’s unnecessary to say who said it because I’m pretty sure everyone reading this is telling themselves, “That was me”. I’ve heard it from everyone and I don’t think that I’ve ever given the best explanation as to the state of my troubled mind.

To say I’m insane is understating it a little. To borrow a terminology from the ‘Matrix’ movies (which they in turn pinched from Alice in Wonderland):

I shot the rabbit, stole his pocket watch, went down the rabbit-hole, climbed back out, purchased some high-powered drilling tools, went back down, dug down a further 2 kilometres and haven’t been seen since…

The biggest difference between your brains and mine is that when you guys have to make decisions based on your conscience, you only have to deal with the archetypal angel-and-devil-on-your-shoulder scenario, basically Good-You versus Bad-You.

You're lucky. I have to deal with each of my emotions INDIVIDUALLY. And they ALL have something to pitch in. To give you an idea of what that’s like, imagine having the entire parliament/senate/congress of your respective countries crammed inside your head so they can each vote on your decisions and actions. And everyone knows getting a bill/law put through parliament tends to take a while, so that’s why I usually take time hesitating to make decisions about stuff (as certain women would testify to).

But I don’t think I've explained myself well enough, so, let’s take a dip inside my brain shall we?

[Cero]: Umm, okay guys, I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do. You gotta help me out here.

[Love]: Come on man; just do what I told you. Go up to her and say what I told you to say.

[Hate]: Ha! As though she’d ever give you the light of day! Plus, she’s talkin’ to that guy over there.

[Sadness]: Maybe we shouldn’t have come. We should have just stayed at home…

[Happiness]: Teeheehee. You guys are funny, heeheehaha...

[Love]: Ah come on now, we’re already here and Cero’s been planning this for days now.

[Hate]: As if that matters. I still don’t know WHY we came. The guy doesn’t have the stomach for it.

[Love]: He DOES have the stomach for it. He’s just a little nervous that’s all.

[Hate]: That’s ‘cause you two make him too much of a bloody nice guy all the time!

[Love & Happiness]: Hey!

[Sadness]: Everyone’s ignoring me…

[Happiness]: Cero likes Happiness more than he likes you stinky-face, so there! Hmph!

[Hate]: Oh yeah? How come he never laughs at your jokes?

[Love]: Stop being mean Hate. Can’t we just get along for five minutes and agree on something for once?

[Hate]: Hey, I’m just sayin’ you guys turn him into too much of a wuss that’s all. And look at that! Some other guy just started talking to her now! See what I mean?! Cero’s got no frikkin’ back-bone! I’d punch that guy if I were him!

[Love]: He can’t do that Hate, mindless violence solves nothing.

[Hate]: Says you.

[Sadness]: I wanna go home…

[Happiness]: Ooooh… look at the pretty birdies outside!

[Cero]: Um, guys?

[Hate]: Lord Almighty, why the hell was I teamed up with THESE MORONS!

[Sadness]: You’re talking about me aren’t you. I knew it, you guys all hate me…

[Love]: Listen, no here’s a moron okay?

[Happiness]: **giggles** Look at that silly old man over there falling asleep!

[Cero]: Guys?

[Sadness]: No one like’s me…

[Hate]: What… the f***… did I do… to deserve… you F***ING IMBECILES!!!

[Love]: Calm down man! No need to go off like that.

[Happiness]: Haha! Hate’s face look like tomato! Heeheehaha…

[Sadness]: They’re fighting cause of me… Why am I here?...

[Cero]: Hey guys!

[Emotions]: WHAT!!

[Cero]: I’m gonna do it.

[Love]: Go for it!

[Hate]: This’ll be interesting. Five bucks says he chickens out.

[Sadness]: Whatever… I don’t care anymore…

[Happiness]: Yay!

(Cero steps forward)

[Cero]: Hi.

[Girl]: Hello.

[Cero]: **gulp** ummm…

[Hate]: He’s choking!

[Love]: Come on dude, say something!

[Girl]: Did you want something?

[Cero]: Yeah, I…

[Happiness]: Heehee, look at him sweating!

[Cero]: Um…

[Sadness]: Just give up, she probably hates you already.

[Cero]: Uh…

[Hate]: Oh that b****! Look! She’s already checkin’ out that guy standin’ behind you!

[Cero]: Uuuhhh… I…

[Girl]: Sorry, what?

[Cero]: I… like…

[Girl]: I didn’t catch that; you’ll have to speak louder.

[Cero]: I-

[Emotions]: JUST SAY SOMETHING ALREADY!!!!

[Cero]: OK, OK! Stop yelling! I can’t hear myself think. Alright. For real this time (puffs out chest, musters confidence).

[Girl]: (starting to look frustrated) Is there something you need?

[Cero]: You’re right. There is.

[Girl]: And that would be…?

[Cero]: I'd like… the Large Barbeque Chicken Pizza.

[Girl]: So you want one Large BBQ Chicken Pizza? Takeaway?

[Cero]: Yup.

[Girl]: That’ll be 41.95. Please take a seat while your order’s taken care of. NEXT!

My life in two panels.